Posts Tagged ‘chocolate’

The Roy Keane of Teddy Bears

Friday, December 18th, 2009

Picture 3

It’s me again CHARLIE BIG POTATOES, this is my other friend, Chocolate Ted; he is not called that because he is brown, but because he arrived at chez Potatoes in a chocolate treasure chest. Don’t let his cute looks fool you, he is evil incarnate. Observe those cruel eyes, like jet-black volcanic glass. Chocolate Ted spends his entire day trying to get ‘one up’ on Moncur the Monkey – admittedly this is about as difficult as trying to pull the wool over the eyes of a sheep wearing a woolen balaclava – but he approaches it with due seriousness and diligence. He has built a telescope the same size and shape as the leaning tower of Pisa with which he follows Moncur’s idiotic adventures. And idiotic they are! From time to time he comes up with a fiendish plan designed to rid him of ‘that darned monkey’ for, hem hem, ever. He has, variously, flambéed Moncur, put him in a juice machine, skewered him with a screwdriver, and strapped him to a, rather large, firework. There are explicit pictures (of all vital organs) in the Leither Magazine each month. I can assure all my readers that only one monkey is hurt in the making of these visceral tableaux. Hem hem, by the way, that plaster he wears is an ‘affectation’.